Comments for Peer Reviews

This post is for the use of peer reviewed comments from Hunter and Joe.

Comments

  1. UnknownSeptember 21, 2018 at 9:58 AM

    While reading your writing analysis, I found it to be well written and thought that you conducted a great interview with your athletic trainer back in your hometown. I thought that the quotes you used were great additions to the paper and really helped my see what perspective they were coming from. I enjoyed that you mentioned some advanced terms that athletic trainers use, I thought that was a good way to show the language in which an academic journal in formatted in the field of athletic training. I felt that I was able to easily transition through every paragraph and found it easy to follow.

    One area of your paper I feel could use some adjustments were your subheadings. I felt that even though you had good transitions to the end of your paragraphs, it could be even better if more subheadings were used to improve the organization of the paper even more. For example, pages 4 and 5 on your paper give great information, but people may get lost because of all the writing in those pages. Additionally, maybe you could section off paragraphs into topics rather than having such large paragraphs. This might help as well.

    Another area that could use some adjustments would be the formatting of your paper. For the header, you have every page titled “Running head: WRITING IN ATHLETIC TRAINING”. This is the proper header for the first page, but the rest of the paper should be headed “WRITING IN ATHLETIC TRAINING”. Also, at the end of your paper, you have a citations page, this should be titled “references”. Citations are used for MLA while references are used for APA.

    One last suggestion for improvement would by your in-text sources. While I found the information in the quotes to be interesting and well used, I really didn’t find mush of an introduction for them. Maybe just mention why you’re referencing that source I little more before the quote.

    All in all, I found this to be a well written paper with great information relating to the field of athletic training. I found it to be easy to understand and thought that it flowed well with the transitions. As a first draft, this is a good start and with a few minor changes, I believe it will be a great paper. Good job!

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