This post is for peer review on my Literature Review Paper

Comments

  1. UnknownOctober 15, 2018 at 6:53 AM

    My first impression about this paper is that it was a really good one at that. In my opinion it had all the right tools to be a great paper. With all of the peer reviews and meeting you will get for this paper it will help you be a better writing for this paper. You are going the right direction at it is just a few little tweaks and this paper is a good one. It flowed really well, I know what you are talking about, and you had good enough evidence to back up your references.

    I have two things you made need to keep in mind to make this paper solid. Again it was a good paper just a few suggestion. First thing I would do is look at my comments on where I said to change the formatting. On page 1 after your intro you spaced down a couple times and it should only be on time. After you made the header for that paragraph you spaced down a few extra more times. One more thing about the formatting in the first sentence of your paragraph 2 on page 3 it looks like you have a different font then the rest of the paper and it looks like just that first couple of sentences. Also look at your conclusion because you may have indented two times instead of one.

    The second thing I would look over is your use of words and punctuation. In your intro you asked a question and put a period instead of a question mark. Also on page three paragraph 2 you miss spelled some words that I have circled for you to correct. On page 4 paragraph 2 you have a sentence that I don't think it should be a start of a paragraph because it didn't sound excited so the choice of words to start it off could work better if you read my comments. The last thing I saw was paragraph 2 on page 5 the very last sentence you started the sentence with "but" if I were I would put a comma before that or change the use of words on that sentence. All and all this was a really good paper but with a few changes that I gave you and other peer's will give you I think this will be a really good paper.

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  2. UnknownOctober 21, 2018 at 12:14 PM

    My first impression of this paper is that it is a good paper, is organized well, and has good information. The attention-getter also made a good first impression. It really drew me into the paper and it was very interesting.
    One thing to do to make this paper better is formatting and citation issues. On page 3, some of the page is not in the correct font. This will allow the paper to look more clean. Change this to times new roman. Also, when starting a new section, make sure you bold the title of the section. Lastly on your reference page, make sure you remove the links in your citations. This will allow you to have a more clean looking paper and have it be correctly cited in APA.
    Another thing you could work on is sentence structure and other mechanical errors. For example, in the second sentence of the paper, you could word the sentence different. I would suggest to delete the part where it says "even back". Then, I would recommend to fix contractions. For example, whenever you say it's, change it to "it is". Also, whenever you say there's, change it to there is.

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